If I could speak and had my own thinking...I would probably said "No" to go home with my parents. To a home where unconditional love was no longer existed in my life, I only started to speak only at 7 years old, pretty slow learner ehh? Besides having difficulty in expressing myself in a new environment, I need to cope with my studies.
My studies ehh?...Well, I was always in second....last position. I still had the cheek to count myself "smart" because I was not in the last position. Every year, when I received my report book, I would ensure I still held my position..lols. Frankly, I was a quiet girl who daydreamed all the time, hoping a saviour can get me out of misery. I just could not catch up with my studies therefore I would sometimes "blushing" after slapped by my teacher.
My "new" family ehh? I had a Xiaoyi, my mum's youngest sister, who always drove a wedge between my mum and I. I really did not understand why she still detested me so much. However I could not forgive her of what she and her late husband had done to a innocent 7 years old girl, physically and emotionally. Moreover,, I was able to see and communicate with spirits, not now anymore. From all these aspects, my mum found me a disgrace and evil child to her siblings. Hence, I got countless of temporary "tattoos" (scarring from caning) and "unsweetened talks" (nasty remarks) from my mum. I became more offensive and introvert.
Finally, I could not stand those treatments anymore, I attempted committing suicides and running away from home. Well, they were silly actions to do. I was lucky I did not succeed either one of these actions. Otherwise, I will miss the goodness that only came to me later in my life. I had strive through the worst. Now enjoying my goodness, I have obtained a bachelor degree and married to a sweet and caring hubby in my thirties.
To those who are currently experiencing could be a tough journey, do not give up, the goodness will come to you one day.
To parents, do not give up on your children if their studies are not desirable or their personalities were not ordinary. Give them encouragement and unconditional love, not caning and giving nasty remarks on them. They are sensitive and hope for acknowlegement as your children, not your enemy.
To those who think their educational levels fared lowly than your peers, opt for higher education. I obtained my degree only in my thirties. Just research on the courses that interests you and go for it. No one is stopping you except yourself.
To those who is looking for a lifelong partner, you will find him or her if you choose to. Dun stay at home, unless you are awaiting for him or her to appear at your doorstep. I met my hubby in a SDU event and we decided to get married after three months of dating. So go research on dating events. Of course, you need to spend to dress well in the events. First impression matters.
To those who wants to have babies...hmmmm....I am still working on it..lols.
So lets jiayou! : )
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